Expiry dates

6 Sep

Cop 223: Any canned pineapple that expires on May 1?
Cashier: You know what day it is today?
Cop 223: April 30?
Cashier: Right. You think we sell outdated stock?
Cop 223: There’s still two hours to go.
Cashier: No one takes that risk. Get something fresh.
Cop 223: People like you are hung up on freshness. You realize what goes into a tin of pineapple? The fruit must be grown, harvested, sliced, and you just throw it away! How do you think the tin feels about that? 
Cashier: Buddy, I only work here. Who cares about how the tins feel? What about how I feel? Loading, more loading, unloading… How I wish tins wouldn’t expire! It’d save me loads of work. You like expired tinned food? Help yourself! As many as you like! On the house!

[223 leaves the store]

Cop 223: Somehow everything comes with an expiry date. Swordfish expires. Meat sauce expires. Even cling-film expires. Is there anything in the world which doesn’t?

[223 gives a can of pineapple to a passing hobo. The hobo looks at the can and throws it on the ground]

Hobo: It’s expired.


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